I also found you through Liz Lamont. Thought it was beautifully done. I was with you until (and I'm taking Vinny's advice here to leave both praise and honest thoughts for other writers) the very last line. The tension of the story, the visceral sensations of the place and the people, the curiosity and awakening, was all so clear to me that I didn't need the last line. I knew he'd never forget. Found myself wishing it was something a little less on the nose. There you have it, an unsolicited opinion from a stranger. I will definitely be subscribing though.
Liz Lamont sent me here and this did not disappoint. Great stuff.
The everyday is so often profound. Such a gorgeous story , my thanks to @ElizabethLamont for the steer!
Thanks, John. I’m thankful you liked the story.
I also found you through Liz Lamont. Thought it was beautifully done. I was with you until (and I'm taking Vinny's advice here to leave both praise and honest thoughts for other writers) the very last line. The tension of the story, the visceral sensations of the place and the people, the curiosity and awakening, was all so clear to me that I didn't need the last line. I knew he'd never forget. Found myself wishing it was something a little less on the nose. There you have it, an unsolicited opinion from a stranger. I will definitely be subscribing though.
Thanks, Daniela. I’m glad you like the story and I appreciate the feedback. I’m always open to a bit of criticism, and it’s well taken.